Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Naming Baby

We were originally told that our baby was going to be a girl - "but don't go on a buying spree yet", said Dr. Johnson.  There were quite a few girl names that I liked, and Tyler and I talked about some of our favorites.  The following ultrasound "looked a bit boyish" - and I was worried as we started brainstorming boy names.  At first we couldn't think of ANY that I liked.  The next ultrasound confirmed it - BOY.  I was thrilled, but in a conundrum about names.  But we had plenty of time to think about it.

Fast forward to now, December 18th.  That plenty of time I thought I had . . . GONE.  The following day, my baby boy would be born.  We still hadn't made any decisions, and we spent a bit of my bed-rest time talking about names.  We had liked a couple - Grant, Ike, Truman.  Tyler liked to throw around names like Thorin (The Hobbit), Leif (a Norwegian ancestor), and any other name we would never choose, which always made me laugh, or roll my eyes.  Tyler recalls me having brought up the name Marshall - his middle name - but I hadn't been able to disassociate the name from a former student and had ruled it out. But anytime names were brought up, Tyler mentioned it.

On the night of December 17th, I laid in my hospital bed, awake during much of the night, listening to the babies heartbeat.  It sounded like horses trotting.  As I sat there listening, and thinking, about my baby coming, and all that had happened, and my amazing husband and all that he does for me, and a name - I thought of how great it would be to name him after his amazing daddy - my pillar of strength and love of my life.  Then I thought of how the definition of the name Marshall had been a horse servant.  That was fitting as I listened to the heart monitor over and over.  I looked up the definition for Marshall in the dictionary and one definition for the word as a verb (without the double L) that stuck out to me was "to usher or lead ceremoniously" ( - marshal).  Next came into my mind the name of my younger brother Jonathan.  Probably partially because he had constantly been saying how we should name the baby Jonathan Robert Stout the second, after him.  He would then name his first son Jonathan Robert Thornton the third :).  We told him that's not how it works, but he persisted.  In reality, I have always loved the name Jonathan - which means gift from God.  Additionally, I have always felt a special bond with my youngest brother, Jonathan.  He is 10 years younger than the next sibling, my only sister Camille.  He was born when I was 18 years old.  Since I was 12, I have struggled with severe depression and when he was born, he was always a reason for me to live, and sometimes the only reason I could come up with.  I know it doesn't quite make sense, why not for the rest of my family or so many other reasons, but depression does not make sense.  I spoiled Jonathan rotten, and spent time with him as much as possible.  I always felt a special bond with him, and know that he was a gift from God to my family, and to me, to give me strength and a reason to go on.

Since I was young, my one and only true ambition has been to be a stay at home mom of lots of kids.  In my ideal timetable for myself, it has been a long time coming.  In my head, I combined the definitions for Marshall (to usher or lead ceremoniously) and Jonathan (gift from God) and I thought of how my little boy will usher or lead ceremoniously our gifts from God (our baby being born the following day, and the many we hope will yet come to our family) and the name seemed perfect.

I suggested it to Tyler - and of course having always wanted Marshall - he loved it.

Marshall Jonathan Stout

No comments:

Post a Comment